Monday, March 28, 2011

The Six Stages of Ownership

First, there is the Idol stage where we recognize there is an item we want and unlike those before it, this is the possession which will finally make us whole.


Second, we bring home the Ornament, for that is what it will be; we will not use this thing, or not as much as it seemed to us we necessarily would upon taking ownership of such a jewel.


Third, it is The Damn item, for wherever it is, it is not in the right place and someone needs to retrieve The Damn item before it is thrown away.


Fourth it has become a seasoned veteran of our home and now becomes the Chameleon, as it will suddenly be able to blend so perfectly that each member of the household can stare at it without finding it, so as to return it to its home.


Fifth, it is Clutter, and we must throw clutter away, however on the way to the garbage can it undergoes instantaneous metamorphosis for its last stage.


You see, it is no longer Clutter which might become Trash, because en route to the trash we have realized that this irreplaceable member of the family is now an Artifact, and must be stored (likely in my closet) until we all return to dust no thicker than that which coats our other Artifacts.

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